Saturday, November 15, 2014

post fyp

honestly, it has been a roller coaster of emotions for these past few months. i guess when you win some, you have to accept the fact that you are bound to lose some.

after finishing fyp, i feel empty and hollow. it is hard to explain in words what i have felt during these period and i dont know where to start. when you keep it inside for too long, you just let it be. my classmates keep uploading pictures of their thesis and their group photos. hmmm... maybe its not my luck this time. its okay. i take it as a lesson learnt. i gave in too much and the consequences are deep. and on monday (literally, day after tomorrow) i have to sit for final exam and then, i have to finish drafting for cutse. this is crazy! i am tired of the whole thing.

i love our thesis title and topic. don't get me wrong but i am traumatized on the whole process already.     

Friday, September 19, 2014


excuse me for not blogging for ages. so so so swamped with final year project :( i will be wrapping up this chapter of life soon. hmm, feeling mixed up all over again. 

spending time in the lab until late night walks you down into the memory lane. it is full of the pasts and what ifs. yeah, i may be a late bloomer but i guess its better late than never. it makes me ponder on the subjects we talked in the lab to fill the quietness of the night *well, more like we are bunch of chatterboxes :P* i guess thats why i always ask random questions out of blue. hahaha. 

graduation is approaching soon. its daunting to think what is there in store for me, will i be accepted working in international companies or small companies? although there is many articles saying grades doesnt matter, but lets face it grades actually DOES matter. That will pave the way to better things in future. For example, I am waitlisted for a conference at the end of the year because of my grades. Well, the organizer didn't specifically say that but you sorta know it when you got waitlisted. I did enough co-curriculum in uni for the first two years. So yeah... Aussie uni is quite difficult to score, go figure. Or maybe its because the staffs in our dept are tough on us. InsyaAllah rezeki comes from Allah and gotta work hard and do my best at the same time too :)

and that's the reason why i never really active looking for a boyfriend a.k.a looking for a man to marry. i dont have time to juggle both at the same time. my studies is more important than looking for a man to settle down. okaylah, that's half of the story. the other half is i got out of relationship where i completely lost trust in man years ago. you can say that i have trust issues :P i realized that i have been avoiding this issue for too long and i have to deal with the root of the problem in order for me to attain my own happiness. it wakes me up from bubble and from that point, i already know what i wanted from a relationship. i actually don't like casual dating. its like leaving things hanging in the air. i hope that the guy i end up with can put up with my quirks and habits. i have been away from dating field for ages. i forgot how its like to be in love again, things to do on dates etc. its different back then and these days.  another reason why i am so chilled about this is also because most of my close friends are not married yet :P i am not alone, baby! hahahaha 

there is still a lot i need to do in order to improve myself. i would have gotten married if that is what i wanted in first place but there is more to life than marriage. its a blessing to find the love of your life at an early age. every person have their own path to walk on. i am excited to close this chapter and moving on to next phase in life. wish me luck! :)